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I didn't think I was going to live through that battle.  I did, barely.  Nobody back home knows.  I'm a civilian now.  I miss it...

I didn't think I was going to live through that battle. I did, barely. Nobody back home knows. I'm a civilian now. I miss it...

 
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Category: Secrets

 
^That's a bit presumptive. A lot of former military personnel miss it after getting discharged. Even if they were itching to get out.
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Very few Soldiers have to kill anyone. What we miss is the comfort of routine, of not having to worry about the day to day things like cooking/paying bills/etc., and of being with a group of people who we know what to expect from. We come back and feel like there is a huge gulf between us and everyone else; we were gone for a year, fifteen months, eighteen... and our friends, family, and everyone else just kept going and, in a sense, we expected to be able to step back into our lives where we left off. This is a very normal reaction to combat, and counseling does help with reintegration, but that doesn't mean there is something "wrong" with us.Poster- I apologize if this isn't your experience at all, and it is presumptuous of me to suggest it is, but I think the other readers have made a poor assessment of your secret.
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I have the same feeling towards my experience in Iraq. I saw more death than anyone person should ever have to. When I cam home I was happy to here but I left a huge part of me over there and as long as there are always men and women on the front lines I will always feel like I should be there. And no not because I want to kill someone but because there is a kinship that is built between brothers in battle. So maybe instead of throwing you uneducated opinions around you should thank a solider for the ability to have web sites like this and your freedom.
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.Thanks for being there for me.
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^ Not at all. I deployed my PLT of 31 men and 4 women to Iraq, personally went on over 500 combat missions, and brought everyone home safe and sound. I also counseled each and every one; several still call me in the middle of the night when they wake up screaming. So yes- I did join to take care of others. Productive citizen? I volunteer 20 hours per week and assist the local county commission while I'm still working and finishing up grad school. Afghanistan in 2 weeks... I understand you feel this is not enough, but I am satisfied with my ability to "woman up." Just out of curiosity- what is your story?
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That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it...
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Thank you for your service. No one can tell you how you should and shouldn't feel after having to experience a war.
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amen.
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I hear you brother - stay strong!(U.S. Army 1969 - 1972)
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