i know how you feel however, i am playing with an unattainable man. we will never be more than "just friends." as much as it is nice, it hurts.....i am in love.
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I can certainly identify with your post and that of the first comment . Don't give up . Never know what the future holds .
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^^^You know, I really can't figure women out. You clearly understand he can't make a committment, but he is otherwise good to you. Why can't you just be FWB and and enjoy his company, rather than think you are waiting for him to claim you as his property? Sheesh.::eyeroll::
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^You can't figure women out, because you're thinking about property.
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^ ::eyeroll:: (stolen)
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settle for f***buddies
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Meh...I'm happy with my FWB. Not all women have the "soul mate" mentality. I am rather fond of Plato's Symposium, though.
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I have the same problem...and don't settle for FWB...you will get hurt when you find out they are also f***ing someone else.
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I'm the OP, I'm actually a man, for what it's worth. There is nothing physical about the relationship. We just know that now is not the time for anything more than a friendship, I was just voicing my concerns that the time may never come. And if it does, she will still slip through my fingers. Why is it always the assumption that those who feel so deeply connected to someone must be a woman feeling it about a man?
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Stop stealing my f***ing eyerolls! <3. Well, I can identify with the first two posts. I'd like to ask the OP if they're both married. Is there something keeping you from being anything more than just her friend? And I agree with the last sentence too...
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^ I stuttered !!
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^ I was at a loss for words ::eyeroll::
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No neither of us are married, but best friends, we feel the whole soulmate thing, but know some how, that now is not the time for us to date, we've both had a history of bad relationships, and just didn't let ourselves fall for each other. The rough thing is, she's dating a guy at the moment, which I'm fine with, except for the fact that he's so terrific because he reminds her of me...
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Next person that steals my eyeroll is gonna catch a beatdown. -_-. @ OP. I'm sorry. :( Do you think it's possible that she might be in love with you also? I mean, she's dating someone that could and is emulating you. I bet she might want the real thing (which is YOU, btw). Now may not be the right time, but don't let time run out because what if this is a real chance at happiness?
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I'm one of those people who doesn't buy the myth that romance or sex ruins a friendship, it can just make it better! Your best friend knows all your quirks, flaws, the good stuff, the bad stuff and you've probably helped each other through a lot. Because they are your friend, they love you anyway, and for who you are. I say get it on!
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Go for her. Don't give up on her.
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^What he said. She wants the real thing. Go for it.
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I'm not looking for sex, she's much more extraordinary then that. But yes, I have the strongest faith that one day the time will come when we will be together, but faith is held, not without fear, but in spite of it. I'm going through a rough patch right now, just lost my father, which is rough (I'm only 26) and my shaken world view is manifesting itself in my shaken faith that I've actually found her. I know that intellectually, feel it in my heart, but the fear still haunts me. I believe with all my heart that I have not been shown this person, this beautiful other side of me, simply to loose her to the tides of time, but I understand that she could always choose not to believe when the time comes. She knows who I am, believes as I do. We agree that it's not time now for us to date. I'm just frightened that she won't face how she feels when the time is right.
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WOW !!
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You sound grounded. Reevaluate your thinking about her. She is aloof and unsure about who she really is. You do not want to be wrapped up with someone like that. I married one of those. We are divorced.
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^ mine wasn't aloof....she was a loon !!
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A loony loof? hahaha Ahhhh, the tides of time...
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2up^And mine still is, a loon. All this after convincing me that we were "kindred spirits" and should get married. What a mistake that was.
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I still swear..."marriage is an institution, that, will put you in one"
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I feel sorry for some of you. If you know she's not the one you ought to be with, that means that somewhere, someone is the one you ought to be with. So you made a mistake, we all do. If it doesn't feel right, then usually it isn't. If you can't explain why it doesn't feel right, it just means the reason is inexplicable, not that there is none. Follow your hearts. If she's a loon that you don't understand, can't fathom, can't believe you married, then she's not the right one. Being with someone that fits isn't about her being sane, it's about being able to understand and accept her idiosyncrasies.
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^Agree in theory, but it's hard to tell someone "it just doesn't feel right". It ends up being the "it's not you it's me" cliche.And sometimes too, you just make the wrong choice and go with the "safe" person, not the ONE--your best friend.
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Let me summ all of his up. In the words of the great Don Vito Corleone," why don't you act like a goddamn man!"
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I am "acting like a goddamn man!" Doing my best to care for those I love and care about, listening to what they tell me, taking in to account their feelings and my own. Being the best friend, companion, and man I can be to her. There is nothing else at this point to be done.
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^Except whine to strangers.
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all you can do is tell the person that you want to be more than friends... if thet dont want that at least you will know and can move on... just went through the SAME EXACT situation
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2^ Is coming here a "guilty pleasure" for you? You seem to need it. It fills the hole in your own life.
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yeah, undertanding our idiosyncrasies...i am glad my man understands mine:) thank you!
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Not here for a guilty pleasure, or to whine, just to commiserate. I've been through the site a bit and saw quite a few in similar situations. I wanted to share my views, and perhaps see others perspectives on the issue. One of the few things you can do when your in a situation in which you can do nothing, is to reach out to those around you, friends or strangers, who are in, or have been in, similar situations, that's the basis of the support group. I'm here almost as much to share my story with those who feel the same about someone in their life, so that they don't have to feel they are the only one going through it, as I am reaching out so that I don't have to feel like I'm the only one going through it. It's the basis of any community to build on shared experience, and one of the few truly worthwhile things about the Internet. If I were limited to my circle of friends and family in my geographical location, there would be no one to tell that would understand... except her of course. :-)
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Reach out by reaching in.
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2^ Tell her about it, tell her everything you feel.
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my wife and i have been married for 30 years this year. we used to work together and when i first saw her( i glimpsed her around 50 feet away and the world spun down to a point where all i could see was her and, immediately, i was walking on air) it was love at first sight for me. don't let anyone tell it doesn't happen like that! i asked her to date me 2-3 times a week for over 6 months before she would go out with me, now it would be called stalking, i'm lucky i didn't end up in jail. she told me later she kept turning me down because she knew i was the guy she would spend the rest of her life with. long story short, we found our soulmates and best friends in each other. i wouldn't (couldn't)change it if my life depended on it.i wish you luck in your journey my friend.don't give up. if it is ment to be, it will happen(i know-cliche)
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You're on of those guys who dresses up as a girl so you can get f***ed in the ass. You're a f***ing loser!
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