Then he is obviously a better person than you and deserves a better partner. You are obviously too selfish to be in a relationship with him. Those kids AND your kids will suffer because of your attitude.
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^maybe it was a she!
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SO if you like kids your obviously a better person than someone who doesn't? There are alot of people who dont like kids btw
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Woman or Men you my friend are a piece of shit!! I'm glad your partner is a better person than you!
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When someone I was involved with told me he didn't like my kids, I left. Wonder if that is why this is a "secret"?
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selfish is an understatement. And, I would bet money that the OP is a woman.
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I am the Op. I am a woman. I did not expect this kind of critisim. His kids are out of control. Mostly due to his exwife. They are just like her.
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If you post here... you will get ALL KINDS of comments.
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I agree. I can't stand other people bad kids especially when they're just like their horrible parents. It's not an easy job but this is the situation you signed up for when you got involved with him soooo deal with in the most loving way possible. That's the best way to get by.
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Hey OP, if his kids are out of control then instead of being hateful to them, why not try to help them? How would you feel knowing someone hated your kids because of who YOU are? Would you not want people to love them for them despite their imperfections?
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That's really tough...are they younger or older? If you do stay, it is incumbent upon you to make peace with the Facts of Life. There's a marathon this weekend, sit them down and make them watch this amazing American sitcom all about teaching values and morals with a good-natured ribbing and warm apple pie straight from Mrs. G's warm heart.
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Should not have married him.
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ew you're gross
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OP, you didn't expect criticism? With a statement like that? From this, of all places? Selfish and dumb all rolled into one.
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Give them a chance (yourself included). You didn't ask for them, they didn't ask for you. It's a tough situation for all. (Also a lot of natural mothers harbor resentment against their children at first.)
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I AM THE ORIGINAL POSTER.... and I treat his kids no different then mine I just dont "love" on him because i am not comfortable doing so, but he expects me too.... and i have told him this but it makes no difference...
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OMG.... Get out of the relationship.
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OP you are lying to yourself. If you harbor 'hate' (your word) for this child you are most definately treating him different than your kids and that is not fair to him, you or your children. If you cannot deal with your own feelings and be mature you owe everyone involved to get out of the relationship that you are making toxic with your hate.
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OP here.. I don't treat him differently.. if any thing my house is more relaxed on rules when he is there because my spouse does not want to spend the whole weekend disicplining him. And i never said i hated him i dont love him like i do mine... I just hate other peoples kids in general... And i have tried getting out of the relationship because of this
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Of course you treat him differently!!! You HATE him! Your words not mine. Do you think kids don't feel that? Some Step-parents really BLOW! This says more about you than it will ever say about the kids or his Mom.
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AGAIN i never said i hated him i dont love him i just hate other peoples kids in general... And i do not treat him differently my spouse and i have had this talk and if i ever did he should say something because i was an only child i had never been around children until i had mine.. My comment was mostly because he is pressuring me to love this child like my own .. sorry but i cant do that am i NOT his mother, there is no bond there
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Give it time and your best effort. It is not a natural situation, and bonds like you have with your own child may never form. But that can be ok. Just do your best to be kind and to be the best person you can be around him. In time a good bond may form, even if it is not love. Been there, done that.
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Thank you.. that was the best comment and advice so far. I appreciate your support
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love is an action lady not something that magically happens. It's interesting to me how you claim to have tried to get out of the relationship. It's easy, pack your bags and go and be honest - you are going because you are too selfish and weak to consider the needs of a child.
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I feel sorry for your man and his children . You cold hearted Bitch. If he can love your kids as his own you should love his. Otherwise you should have never gotten involved . I am willing to bet you allow your kids to be mean to his just because you don't like his ex. Get out of his life before you screw up his children and they end up like you !
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What a crock. This is no secret. You said you have talked with your spouse about this. That means you are telling the world that your man loves YOUR kid but you won't love HIS. Man, GROW UP! I feel sorry for that kid. You obviously don't want to take the time to bond with him. You need parenting classes STAT!
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you suck lady. you sound like an awful person.
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OP AGAIN... i have tried to bond with him... Also my kids are not mean to him he is the one who is distructive if he doesnt get his way or has to share he'll just break it so no one can play with it
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OP you should be ashamed of the person you are. change.
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He's a frickin kid who is crying for help! Be a frickin adult! You think he can't feel your hate for him and your jealousy? Did it ever occur to you that he doesn't want to bond with you because he can feel what a b**** you are?
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Nothing like an adult blaming the kids... Jeeezzzz! He is bad, he breaks my kids toys, he is disrespectful, he, he, he, he... Try to find out what your part is on all this and STOP blaming the child! That poor kids, first a broken home and now a hateful step-mom....
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I dont punish him i understand where he is comming from i also was from a broken home... As far as me being a B****, hid father does not work I am the one paying the child support.. I am the one buying all his school clothes... I am the who gets him what he needs I pay for his insurance I take off work and take him to the doctor when he's sick because his mother doesnt want to miss work.. when he's sick at school they call me to come get him so dont call me a b*tch. My point is that i dont love him like i do my kids, and to stop forcing me too.. if we bond then we bond if not dont pressure me too.. if anything that pushes me away.
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Run fool Run!!!!
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What this is really about is that you are resentful for the choices YOU made in being with his father. What really sucks is instead of taking ANY responsibility for the choices YOU made to be with a man who does not work or pay his own child support and blame YOURSELF or the FATHER (probably because you enjoy the f*** and the company) is you TAKE IT OUT ON THIS POOR KID WHO OBVIOUSLY SENSES WHAT IS GOING ON AND RESENTS BEING CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT!!! YOU ARE A SELFISH BITCH! IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY IN THE RELATIONSHIP THEN GET OUT!
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^ You are right in what you say,but why are you so hostile in the way that you say it? I think YOU need to examine why you find the need you so forcefully express your opinion about this.
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OP here I have no problem paying for the child.. at one point in time his father was working until he was laid off... IF you can READ then read the last sentence of my previous post.. infact i'll re type it... "My point is that i dont love him like i do my kids, and to stop forcing me too.. if we bond then we bond if not dont pressure me too.. if anything that pushes me away." I am trying to bond with him i dont treat him differently but my spouse keeps pushing me to.
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^ you are lying
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I cannot believe how harsh people can be...I personally appreciate your honestly, its refreshing! I honestly cant stand my boyfriends kids and you can call me a b**** till your blue in the face, it wont change how i feel....
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