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4 years since I got out of an abusive relationship. I'm married & happy. I'm having dreams recently that I never left him. They scare me. I'm so lucky I got out

4 years since I got out of an abusive relationship. I'm married & happy. I'm having dreams recently that I never left him. They scare me. I'm so lucky I got out

 
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Category: Secrets

 
You have to place things into perspective. If you would have undressed you could have developed an SM/BD relationship with him.
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Woman beaters are the scum of the earth. Congrats to you for getting out!
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This would be a good research topic. If the truth be known, I bet it would reveal that women set off these guys who become beaters. Just as guys set off some women to batter and kill their men People can take only so much. Men or women.
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^^^I think there might be some reality to what the last poster said. Op, be honest with us here. After all, you are hiding benind a computer. How do you think you contributed to the abuse? Surely, you feel in the depths of your heart that you played some role in the relationship. My mom once said that it takes two to marry and it takes two to separate.
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2^ Spoken like a true Neanderthal! And do you think rape victims "asked for it", or was "Dressed like she wanted it?"Guys who batter women do not become beaters... they have ALWAYS been beaters!They just try to hid it.I have a cure for the beaters...
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I can't imagine cowering like that woman in the pic. I'd be up in his face so fast while twisting his balls off he'd be on the floor crying like a little baby! screw that! No one should just take a beating! If she can't get him while he's awake, he's gotta sleep sometime!
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^^ OP here. I did not provoke him. I was not the instigator. I believe the boy who beat me did so because he was beaten by his mother. The very first time he hit me we were in a drive through. He ordered a burger, but forgot to tell the lady he wanted it plain. We parked he discovered the problem, and began to cuss and yell. Not at me at the situation. Mine was plain, and I offered it to him.
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^ Op here continuedI will admit I wasn't as nice as I could have been. I think I said something like, "Geez, calm down. It's just a burger. Here take mine. I don't mind." I did not yell at him. I had an attitude about it. The next thing I know his hand is in my face. After that he started freaking out. My nose was bleeding. He was as attentive as he could be. All I heard the whole way home was, "I'm so sorry, I love you so much, please forgive me, please don't tell anyone."
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^ Op here continuedThe last time he beat me, he beat the living shit out of me. That one I suppose I "contributed to". It was because I told him I was leaving. He threatened to kill himself, he threatened to kill me, and he threatened to kill everyone I loved. It was not a long conversation. Maybe 10 minutes tops. He was yelling and crying at me. I told him, "I'm sorry. I love you, but not what you do to me. I can't live like this."
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^ Op here continued I turned to walk away, and he grabbed me by the back of my hair. I don't remember a lot about that. I just remember getting hit A LOT. He slowed down, and I started screaming and crying "I can't live like this. I can't live like this." Two men I didn't even know pulled him off of me. I scrambled to my car, and drove home as fast as I could. My parents found me in my car, and rushed me to the hospital.
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^ Op here continued I had three broken ribs, broken nose,
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^ Op here continued
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^ Op continued
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^
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This thing is messing up on me.. :(I didn't deserve anything that he ever did to me.
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The same thing used to happen to me. I also left my abusive ex-husband about 3 years ago, and 2 years later, I also started having dreams that I was still with him (either that I never left or that I went back). I COMPLETELY understand how terrifying it is to wake up after a nightmare like that! My heart would race, and I would get cold sweats!! However I WAS able to figure out why it was happening. The dreams started after I got into a different relationship and I realized that he wasn't a good man. He wasn't abusive, but I feel like the nightmares were my mind's way of telling me to get out. I left the guy, and I haven't had another nightmare like that since. Good luck to you, OP. Proud of you for leaving!
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1 up: You started having dreams because subconciously you began to miss him.
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Good for you! Good luck!
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