fart...
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what an ass !!
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He's got some digestion problems, ya think?
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Change his diet.
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i had the same problem, it turned out i was allergic to wheat. does he has a slight puffiness around his face and eyes? i look like a totally different person since i went gluten free!!!
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Wear ear plugs!
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I admire his self-control :)
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"BEANO"
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well, tell him that you are feeling neglected and that he should fart for you as well...if he doesnt accomodate...."get back to me"...and we let it go from there !!
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Hook him up to the furnace.
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Can he play the 1812 Overture out his ass?
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Make sure your insurance is up to date and leave a candle burning on a plate next to his ass. If you love him, leave a fire extinguisher on the night stand. If you don't like him anymore, take it outside and discharge it before you put it on the night stand. If he knows he'll be a fire hazard when he goes to sleep, he'll be very interested in resolving the issue and fast. I'll be watching the news...
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while hes sleeping and farting....apply a generous amount of crazy glue to his "fart factory"...when it starts coming out his nose and ears, that practice will stop, trust me !
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Have some fun with it and shove a turkey call in his butt. Gobble, Gobble, Gobble...
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Just wait tell he SHITS, you lucky girl.
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Light a match - he'll stop farting.
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