I am sorry for you. Why do you stay?
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Hon. I am a woman in the same situation .I can really identify with your feelings. Don't be sad when someone cannot show you the love you need at home and for whatever reason you cannot leave her. Reach out to someone else . Never know you might find one that will always put your needs first.
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it happens, for real, i have been with my lover for 3 years, we are there for each other. i lean on him more than he leans on me however, it's a wonderful relationship. i don't ask about his wife, i can only guess he is not as happy as he deserves to be. i love to make him feel good. i love him for life
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^slut.
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Its been 26 years for me 20 of them in a loveless relationship, i would cheat on her but dont want the guilt so i spend all of my spare time in the garage or out with the guys .
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You make yourself happy. You don't expect your wife or others to do it for you. Have you asked yourself what your part was as to why your wife quit loving you? Is it possible that instead of you putting energy into the relationship, you expected your wife to make you happy and have it be all about you? Love is a verb. It takes mutual effort.
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^^1 up. The second part could be true. That was not the case in my situation. My wife was just self-centered. That was not just my opinion. My relatives felt the same way. Most quit coming to visit me in another state because of her. Eventully I just shut down around her. I decided to leave, but could not for the last 4 years of our 11 year marriage. I met a woman on a website for attached people looking for extra-marital affairs. We dated for a while until a year later I filed for divorce. Then I moved out of the state to be closer to family. It has been difficult financially, but I would not go back to that marriage for any amount of money. I will stay single forever too.
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Divorce.If you want to be happy, then make yourself happy. Don't rely on someone else to make you happy. If you do, you're a fool.
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2^So instead of getting a divorce you cheated for the last 4 years of your marriage. Actions speak louder than words. And SHE was 'self centered'!!! Haha
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1 up. Look, moron. Let me teach you what self-centered means. I married her and agreed to allow her to stay home to raise her two youngest kids, ages 9 and 6, because I did not have that luxury when I was a kid. I took in her grandkid, since her older kid I did not raise was too irresponsible. I raised the kidfrom age 6 months until the divorce when the kid was 8 years. When her family would not take care of their mom, but was ready to place her in a nursing home, I refused and brought her to our house to live. In return, My exwife argued with my nephew the second time he came to visit, argued with my sister-in-law the first time she and my brother came to visit, and argued with my mom once on the phone. When I left I told her Fuck You, and never looked back. Today she is in a wheelchair from a progressive bone problem, on welfare, and food stamps. When I left, my yearly income was$72,000.00
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I think if your heart isn't in it you should leave....Life is to short to waste!!!!!!!!!My opinion!!
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wow, exactly the position I'm in. what are you going to do about it though? just be lonely and miserable the rest of your life? thats too long for me, I'm putting some cash aside, once I get enough I'm moving out, I always worried I'd regret leaving her. now I don't care. I'll miss having my kids around all the time, but I'll still get to have them regularly.
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When you first get together it's new and fun and exciting. Over the years you get used to each other and then there comes a time where you take each other for granted. Then it changes again and you hate each other. It changes again and goes back to being fun and loving. That's life! When you're with someone long enough you'll end up going through a lot of highs and lows.
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2 up. My past situation exactly. I will strongly advise you to put away as much money as you can. Hoard it, if possible. The first few years are the hardest. Mine was very tough. You will need plenty for a lawyer with all the other existing bills. Do everything you can not to take additional loans or spend with a credit card. Practice now doing without. Try very hard to secure a place with a friend or family who is understanding enough to let you stay for free or a bare minimum. It took me this whole past five years getting back on my feet finacially. I am just now getting some breathing room. So, be prepared for hardship and sleepless nights. Especially when the court stuff is going on. Also, the divorce court proceeding s will teach you some things about your wife that you did not know existed. You are in for some surprises. Mentally prepare to expect that.
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Look MORON, a person who isn't self centered understands that doing things for another person whether it be helping them or their family doesn't mean they will never argue with the people in your family. A person who isn't completely self centered understands that others interact with people differently all the time. A self centered person does things for people only with an attached expectation that the person helped will now do things the way you want them. a self centered person will go off and cheat instead of doing the work to really heal the relationship. You are pretty transparent.
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^^If you think it is ok for a spouse to argue with family, especially knowing that that family never, ever argues with each other under any circumstance, then your post is not even worth rebutting
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haha arguing not ok but cheating on your spouse ok... psychopath much? There is nothing wrong with arguing. If there is a legit grievance then it needs to be taken to the table and confronted and if possible, worked through. Pretending and ignoring problems serves no one. Holding your toungue when someone is clearly being disrespectful or inconsiderate only reinforces it. But sure, right, no one should argue ever... especially when YOU cheat on your spouse. We should all just pretend you are staying loyal in your marriage?!
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I give the wife 4 years. If she can't be a wife to me I have an affair that restores my self-esteem and let's me know I can be loved again. I've had wonderful extra-marital relationships
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You're just too nice of a guy.
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You should not let your anger and sadness spill over into your ex wife or children's lives. That is a personal demon you are dealing with and I suggest you go to counseling and talk it out with an unbiased person.
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I posted this and I want to say to the people who posted negative comments about it, that I have done my level best to make this work. Leaving is not an option. It sounds like it is, but it's not. It doesn't always work that way. I wish it did. I can't justify the tragic results it would cause just for my happiness. I understand why people see suicide as the acceptable alternative. IF I am gonna hurt a lot of people all at one time I do not want to be around to see it.
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