Look, financial success is over-rated. If you have based your marriage upon that it is no wonder he cheated on you. I suspect he has been your door mat.
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I think you are right about him being a door mat. He probably got fed up with her and flew into someone elses arms. There is only s much crap a guy will put up with.
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OP HERE. it was my wife that has been cheating, and strung out on prescription meds for the past 10 years. as far as the financial success?? I'm barely keeping the family fed and lights on with one income. She has ruined any chance of "success" with HER credit card debt. Im done. I feel horrible for what my kids are about to go threw because of HER actions. I just cant suffer anymore myself. Im so dead inside that Ive forgot who i once was. :(
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Dude, I have been there. After you divorce, it will take at least, at least, 5 years to get your money act together. Maybe longer. Your kids will be better off not having to deal with all the neurotic behavior of the bad marriage. I guarantee you will be happier than you have been in all memory. Just be sure to never, ever, get married or live with another woman. Otherwise, you will realize all living arrangements with women become the same. Admittedly, you can find one not strung out on drugs. Still, if you live with another, you will be miserable.
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1 up. ^ You sure nailed that description. I live alone and date someone. I see her for a few days, go back to my place alone, and keep in touch. Then repeat the process. It is awesome to have that kind of commitment. You have someone in your life, yet your own place provides you with your own personal life. It is the perfect arrangement. Especially when you realize that 50% of married women and 60% of married men mess around on their spouse.
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I have a friend whose wife has shackled him with enormous credit debt. He has to dodge creditors, several times they've been close to losing their home, yet she still thinks she's entitled to trips to Jamaica twice a year. Don't know if she's cheating, but only a fool would miss that she at least has a cheating spirit. Yet he stays with her. Guys like you and him need to face the fact that this world was meant for the strong; prey get eaten and doormats get walked all over. Either grow a pair or shutup your damned whining.
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Perhaps if you chose a woman of substance over one of image you would have fared better. Just a thought from a stranger.
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cont...when you have your own time in a relationship like that, the flame never goes out.
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Even relationships with women of substance become routine and boring. I have dated women from all stratus of economic backgrounds. Routine just dulls everything. Including the rountine one establishes outside of relationships.
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geez, i am sick of that man on here that advises everyone about how relationships don't work. i truly want to find a partner, one i can wake with in the morning one that can hold me at night, everynight. ^this sounds like my lover, thanks, glad you have so many and i only have you. what is one to say, good for you?
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I'm tired of people generalizing from their own failed relationships. Just because you are emotionally stunted or are drawn to those who are does not mean everyone is.
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I am sick of all those relationship idealists who pretend marriage is so cool, wonderful, and fulfilling when damn near everyone knows 50% of women and 60% of men f u c k around on their spouses and over 50% od marriages end in divorce. With those kind of figures 25% of that 50% is in trouble. Just look around. How many people daing do you see holding hands, walking arm-in-arm, and sitting next to each other while driving? Now, look around at all the married people. How many do you see holding hands, walking arm-in-arm and sitting next to each other while driver. None! There is my proof. See, it was not based on my "own failed relationships" It is based on empirical observations. Also, be mindful of another fact. It is not just one person making that assertion in these posts either. You like to think there is only one person so you can marginalize them against the institution od marriage you embrace.
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continued...I have been married. I am a widower now. I will never get married again because it is a failed institution in America's modern era. People want to pretend it is all good, when it is bullshit. Then they have children, get divorced and f u c k up their kid's heads and those kids grow up with a confused and twisted ideal of what marriage is suppose to be. Then they get married, divorce and bring kids up with an even worse projection of life. Go ahead and believe marriage relationships are just the grandest little things to have in your life. Remember this one issue. As you get older and older, keep up with current events pertaining to our youth. You will see as I have for 30 years that each generation of America is becoming more and more emotionally, philosophically, and morally backrupted.
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^^^so true. I have seen the changes too. Not for as long as you have. I read a book by a guy named Toffler called Future Shock. I think that thing was written in like the 70s. It talked about changes is youth culture in a similar description that you said. My aunt has been a teacher for god knows how long. She says she has seen a tremendous decline in the way students behave in school over the years. She has been cussed out, threatened and kids just get up and walk out when they want. This is in sort of a rural area too.
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interesting, we were just talking about the above topic in a restaurant last night
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It is hard to feel sorry for you, or even be understanding I guess..why would you let it get to that? I don't get why you wouldn't let go of the relationship after the first affair she had? The real victims are your children. Shame on you for being so apathetic in your marriage that you couldn't even manage it. Your spouse cheats? They should be your spouse no more. Case CLOSED. No exceptions. No excuses. You fail to act, you deserve whatever your spouse does in the future to assault your heart, intelligence, finances, self esteem, and happiness. I don't say this to be mean or cruel or to be a smart ass..I just believe it to be true. Go out of your way now to Teach your future(your children) the lessons it took you 15 years to learn. They will be better people for it. Take care of them. :)
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