I've often wondered about this. My stepmom always treated me different from her real kids...
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my step dad was the best influence in my life. real father was never there, and often wonder what me and my siblings would be now without him. i say if you love her and the son, do it, just might find out the reward in the end was worth it.
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Dude, it will be the biggest mistake you will ever make. I did it and it was filled with bullshit from two kids who knew i was not their dad. Eventually I packed up, left the whole f***in' family, their mom ended up on welfare and I do not give a flyin' f***. Run while you still can!!!!
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Why?
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My step son is the best thing that ever happened to me. I adopted him after my wife and I were expecting our daughter and I love both of my kids the same. He has been part of my life for 9 years. He is MY boy and he makes me very happy. We are father and son. We like the same food, laugh at the same things and ride motorcycles together. Put away the macho-insecurity and love both of them. You will be better for it.
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It's a package deal ASSHOLE!
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It takes a very strong man to raise another man's child. It's not for everybody. Some guys do it only because they are trying to stay in the mother's bed. Time to fish or cut bait, dude.
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then grow some balls! be honest and get on down the road now!
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I dated a woman and was in the same situation....I stated if we had a kid in which she wanted to do, my child will become the "ONE" she agreed...I never felt the same about her after that, If she could basically put a new child in front of the rest, that was a bad omen, the relationship became just sexual after that and ended shortly thereafter, she never really knew the real reason was her callousness about this situation, luckily they have a good father, she was not so good...in hindsight
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I'm 62 years old. I married a 35 year old woman 20 years ago and she had a 10 year old daughter. I put the kid through college and was nice to her. The childs natural father couldn't keep a job and was generally shiftless although he wasn't evil. In some ways his child was like him and I feel that if I hadn't coached his daughter in school and helped her she would have been kinda like him. Shes married now and she told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to her. Shes a teacher with her own daughter. I grew to love them over time. maybe you can do the same thing.
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Then leave her alone.
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then you're a selfish pig. you don't deserve her or her childs love.
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It can work but, yes, it will take work. You know whether or not you're the kind of person who can see a child in need and become a parental figure. If you're not, though, you need to be honest and back away. The moment you said you loved her child was the moment you communicated your commitment to that child. If you don't feel that way, you need to be clear and respect her by leaving her to decide what is best.
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then get the hell outta the way and let a real man do the job
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Hopefully the child will slit your throat while you sleep to relieve your pathetic life...
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"If she could basically put a new child in front of the rest, that was a bad omen, the relationship became just sexual after that and ended shortly thereafter, she never really knew the real reason was her callousness about this situation"
YOu shoul've told her, you twat!
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I was adopted and I know that my dad loved me.I got married and she had a kid. I feel it was the biggest mistake of my life. next to getting married. I will never do that again.
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If you are sure about that, then PLEASE let this woman go so she can find a partner who can. It's the right thing to do.
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Then you need to not be a douche and break it off and be honest about what a fag you are!!!
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My fiance has been helping me raise my two oldest since they were 2 months and 12 months. He loves them dearly, just as much as our youngest (and only together). If you really cant do that, I'm not saying you're wrong for it, but you need to tell her the truth. Now. Not just for her, but for her child.
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Run Forrest, Run! Not your mistake.
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well do you really think that she's going to leave you for your her daughter? You should embrace her and she'll embrace you. Girls without fathers (though they hate to addmit it) need a positive male rolemodel. she wants a loving father somewhere inside he and you can be that for her
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Be a man and tell her this ASAP - she won't put her child up for adoption just for a man! (If that's what you think you have a right to call yourself)
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^ Well said.
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