I went through a divorce and felt exactly the way you're describing...and the above comment is right, it's your fault. Find yourself, love yourself, and the rest falls into place.
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Been there, done that. In a short while you'll realize how lucky you are now that the controlling SOB is gone.
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It's your life, YOU let it happen.
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My wife has run every part of my life for the last seven and a half years. It has been wonderful. She had a lot of experience with love and sex before she met me and I am the profound beneficiary. However, sometimes I wish I could get my way on something, anything. I suppose I live in a jail with golden bars. I don't ever want to go back to the lonely life I had before I met her. I never dream about other women, just her. If she were to leave, I don't know what I would do.
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2 up from me, is that you Johnny?
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Thanks for putting this into words. I never could.
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Your life isnt deleted until you are dead, be thankful they are gone, time to live it up!!!! Let it go, what goes around, comes around in spades.. they will be payed back eventually somehow.
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I am not Johnny.
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Read your own secret again. YOU let that person run every part of YOUR life. That person didn't delete you. YOU donated your life, offered it up as a no-value token in exchange for time spent. If you didn't put a premium on yourself, why would anyone else? Leaving you, was your ex doing you a long over due favor. Go read a good book, take a class, sit in on a therapy session, and learn who you are, what you like, and then learn to be yourself. You don't know how to be you because you never started. You just were an extension of "That Person." So get outside and learn not to be an exstension of another person. If all of that is too much trouble, just rent a silly movie like "Runaway Bride" where he realizaes that the bride's character's favorite way to eat eggs was the same way any one of her myriad of fiances liked THEIR eggs. She just absorbed their tastes, their preferences. Learn some of your own and quit blaming your ex for your lack of a spine. You were born with your own spine. Reclaim it.
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I went through a very abusive marriage and when it was over I felt the same way you do. I have since remarried and moved on with my life. I am now happier than I have ever been in my life. It wasn't easy, but just know that there is hope out there.
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Don't blame him/her. Yeah it feels like he did it, but you probably knew all along that you were letting it happen. Get some therapy and get on with your life.
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this is y im so glad i control my own life i will never let smeone else do it for me....
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I didn't donate my life it was absorbed by him how I came to this realization was when i had to make a Dr's appointment and had know idea where any of the information was, or what meds I took when the only thing I kept from him was my money, so at least I can curl up with a stack of cash and my cats at night
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self esteem is esteem of ones self, if you depend on other people to make you, you will always be disappointed
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Don't ever let someone take your "personal power" from you again. Be who you are. Don't be a victim. We choose who we let in our lives. Choose better next time. Don't look back..just move on.
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