Places for help:
If you cant go on: http://suicidehotlines.com/

He raised me, abused me, I called him Dad. Ten yrs ago you tell me different, but it's too late, my real father is dead, without ever knowing about me. So sad..

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Category: secrets

Your mother took away something that cannot be replaced. I wonder if she knew of the abuse, and have you asked her why? There will always be an empty spot in your heart, it may help to get to know your real fathers family and learn all you can about him, getting pictures and such. It helped me, the only difference with me is I did meet my father once before he died. But the pain is still there.
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