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I break in to peoples houses and steal valuables. I often make friends with their pets and give them food from their owners fridge.

I break in to peoples houses and steal valuables. I often make friends with their pets and give them food from their owners fridge.
 
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Category: secrets
 
Asshole!
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hey do ya think you could come to my house? I don't have valuables but will you take the (his) dogs?
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Can you break into my neighbor's and kill that f***ing rat chihuahua dog of theirs? thanks.
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you my friend are OK
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Come feed my pit bull, dickhead.
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you are not the OP...
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I read about a guy who put a loaded shotgun in his vacation cabin, rigged with an actuator controlled by a burglar alarm pin switch. I think there might be a market for this idea. I'd like to beta test this with you.
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And somehow you feel this makes you a good guy?
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Now that's comedy.......
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