You have the right to resent him for not being there to see you grow up. Many people who do try to kill themselves are so depressed, they don't know where to turn for help or think they even matter. Of course there is a better solution to the problems that seem to have trapped them, they just don't know what it is-yet. Had he held on a little longer, he would have found he had so much to live for. Suicide happens when anger turns inward, and it has nothing to do with hurting the people around the person who is depressed. It may help to seek out some counseling so that your resentment does not hinder you from living and loving life. How old was he when it happened? You will probably focus more on losing him as you approach that age. Your resentment may even wane as you pass that age. I hope you can let this go and find memories of others about him to build a better understanding of who he was. Stay strong. You had much to deal with from a young age. *hugs*
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*GROUP HUG* You missed out on having a father, that is tragic really. So sorry, but maybe your kids will have one:)
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You can have mine.
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wow. what a simpleton. no debating necessary.
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I'm sorry this happened to you. You have to understand though that your father was ill. Mentally ill. Depression is a horrible thing. Forgive him and get on with your own life.
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I have tried to commit suicide a few times. Last time, when the cops found me I wasn't breathing. They brought me back. Now I know the lethal combination.
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My father committed suicide when I was 14... so I had mine around a bit longer. I have foriven him. Completely. It still hurts, and there are days when the pain of his absence feels all-consuming, but life is precious and beautiful. Don't believe the religious dogma that would tell you he's burning in damnation eternally, either - what a trap. You may see him again, I think I will see my father again. In the meantime, I try to remember the good things, which may be harder for you. I even try to do something special that will help ease the pain of his passage, like remember the things he liked to watch, or funny stories he told. Many of my closest friends who never knew him say they feel like they would have really liked to have known him because of the person I am today. It makes him special for me, instead of a constant source of sadness. Many of the good qualities about myself can be attributed to him - he lives on in me. =)
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Suicide is the most selfish act anyone can commit.
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