OP, I havn't had a close girlfriend since my BFF got married 5 years ago. It's as if she forgot all about me and I don't matter anymore. Husbands, children, families come first, I know this, but there are events made for friendship and community as well. Don't forget about your single friends, people. Just ASK us, if there is room to be included. In my case, every holiday, ever major occasion, she asks what I did *after* the event, and never before, and then says "Oh wow, I didn't know you'd be alone, or I would have asked you over." The only time, now, she asks to get together is if she wants to come over for a cocktail and vent, at my house. Never a thought to going out for a cocktail somewhere else so *I* can vent. My life, to her, disappeared when her life changed.
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Your spouse is supposed to be your BFF
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Both people in a relationship should have outside friends that don't necessarily interact with the spouse. You must have your own hobbies and interests or your marriage will be lacking. Each individual must nurture themselves to be a part of a partnership, this includes seeking out friends.
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I've been married less than a year and I haven't had a BFF since right before I got married. Will it be like this forever?
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OP--> I have lots of friends, but I just miss having that one close girlfriend who I can say anything to, who I can be stupid with, who I can say anything to. My husband IS my best friend, but it isn't the same. Who am I supposed to talk to about HIM?!
To the 1st poster, most of my gfs are single, and only want to party, they don't understand having to find a sitter to go out...and don't want to come to hang with me when they could be out on the town...
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A woman has a woman-wife as well as a husband in many other cultures. She is her best friend and confidant. This woman-wife is not usually a sexual friendship although it can be. In our culture - women who have deep lasting friendships with other women live longer and healthier lives and have marriages that are more stable. Get out and join some kind of woman's group - Hindu, Christian, Pagan, Green, Political - it doesn't matter which one. Join a sewing circle - get out there and feel that warm estrogen feeling - recapture your mental health.
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Women are back stabbers! Why would you want one around your husband? Give up the idea now. You are married you are lucky. Do not bring a single girl in to ruin your life. She will shake her skanky ass til she gets a lift from turning your hubbys head. Hopefully she will stop there. Why even risk it? Freindships with women only add drama to your life.
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How sad, that last comment. you have to be a friend to have a friend. Put in the time and effort, it's worth it.
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Get over it...it's grow up time and time for kids and husbands and jobs and families and all sorts of other stuff grown-ups have to do to be successful. "Best Friends in the whole world" needs to be left back in high school. It's time to move on.
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