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I beat myself up wondering why I slept through him taking his last breath that night...then realize if he hadn't died, I eventually would have.

I beat myself up wondering why I slept through him taking his last breath that night...then realize if he hadn't died, I eventually would have.

 
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Category: Secrets

 
How could you know they would die, you may still soon die yourself. What's to beating yourself up for something that is out of you hands. Sorry they died but it sounds like it was inevitable and for the best. Death is part of life and we all face it eventually. Too bad our society has made it such a bad thing. It's not, and sometimes, most times, brings peace for the deceased and relief for those left. They are truly free now. -Nikodemus
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I don't know your circumstances, but I feel as though I could have written your post myself. I took care of my abusive husband at home for over a year, while he was dying of cancer. While I don't wish the suffering that he endured on anyone, and I'm truly sorry that he had to go through it, I believe that if he hadn't have gotten sick, and our lives had continued on the way they were, that he eventually would have killed me. I beat myself up for staying, I felt guilty that his death was a relief, but I'm here to tell you, that given time, you will get past all of this. With time, you will heal, and you will be happy again. Just be kind to yourself, and stop beating yourself up for things that you could not control. It is not worth it. I wish you peace.
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r u saying u eventually would have died or eventually would have had to go to sleep? if the latter, my heart goes out to you...
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^ To the poster 1 up. It makes me sad that your compassion is conditional.
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