I don't care what kind of man he is, if he wants to spend time his child he should be allowed. Unless he is a freak for kids. My mother has kept me away from my father for more than 30 yrs. She is wrong too.
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Someday, oneday, no matter how much you love her your love will not be enough. She will want to know who her daddy is. You will have to tell her or she will resent you forever. Nothing ever stays secret for too long.Im sorry..
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why would you sleep with a man that was so horrible you wouldn't want him around his own children??? you need professional help grrrl!
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^ I don't think it's our place to judge. We all have things in our past we aren't proud of. Stop pointing fingers, and start beng a little more understanding.
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I never want my son to know his biological father either. Now that he's almost 8 it's getting harder and harder to not at least tell him the truth. Every child will want to know where he/she came from, it's our human nature. Be careful to not make her resent you for the decisions you make for her.
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^^no my question was legitimate....if someone was that bad why would you have sex with them to begin with? and fyi: if she has made poor choices she probably does need professional help or she will end up teaching her children to make the same mistakes. i'm not judging her, i am speaking the truth!!!
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hate to break it to you..my Mother did the same thing. Then..I met my Dad when I was 20. He is the greatest man I have ever met. He had been looking for me for YEARS. Everything my Mother said to me about him was NOT true. Fact is YOUR relationship with HIM has NOTHING to do with your CHILD'S relationship with the FATHER. Google Parental Alienation. It screws up kids for the long haul. I was suspicious of men for YEARS until I figured out it was the poison my mother had planted in my head about "men" in general. When in fact is was her anger against my father who didnt "love her" the way she wanted to be. Do your kid a favor and GROW UP and let the Father love his kid. As rotten as you think he is the child has the right to choose a relationships with Daddy. Not you. HALF of that child IS THE FATHER. Half of your child will be missing until they KNOW who that man is.
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Hell, you probably don't even know who the real father is.
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^ I agree completely !!!!!
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Unless he wants to hurt her, it's not your decision to make. He's the father and he has the right to meet his daughter. This is fact, not opinion.
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FuckIn Bitch. What the hell do you think that kid is? Your effn property? a damn toaster? It's a human being and just who the hell gives you the right to remove the childs father from their life? You have no effn right to do that you biotch. Effn woman, that's all. They think kids are property.
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real recipe for success, this stupid cunt is. poor kid.
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Well, the father of my daughter started doing drugs shortly after I conceived, and he was an alcoholic long before that. He's not trying in any way to provide for our daughter, and he recently started putting his hands on me. I just don't want my daughter to know her father cared so little for her that he couldn't change his life for her benefit. :-/ - The OP
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^its amazing what a kid can do to a father. I promise it will do more harm then good to keep him away.
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^^it's called supervised visitation...if your child sees that you are trying to facilitate a relationship in a healthy environment she will appreciate it later on....
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My question: How the hell do you know she'll have an "angelface". She may be ugly. Like your attitude.
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^Good one!
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I'll give him a chance, of course. I've been giving him a chance since I found out I was pregnant. But it doesn't look like anything is changing. He still parties all the time, smokes weed, pops pills and puts his hands on me whenever he gets mad. This is my first child, and I want to do everything to make sure she has what she needs, and he isn't doing the same. I'm just worried that something very bad will happen to either myself or her if he doesn't work on his temper and stop doing drugs. I'd really appreciate any kind of advice, if anybody has anything to offer. :-) - The OP
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I just wonder what would be more hurtful for her. Knowing him and him still being the way he is now, or her not knowing him at all. I grew up knowing my father, but he also didn't do anything for me or my mother and he never saw me. And I wouldn't go so far as to say I hate him, but I do very much regret that my father didn't give a shit about me. I guess I'm just highly confused about it all. :-/ - The OP
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first i hope you are not living with him....that is no environment to raise a child in. second contact social services and set up supervised visitation. third get yourself some help, no woman would ever want a man like that, why do you?
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^ My family made me move out and come stay with him, because they were worried that my stress level would affect the pregnancy. I DO want my daughter to have a father, and if he can change for her, I'd be happy to have us both raise her, even if we're not in a relationship. But, I just don't want her in the environment that he's in.
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Oops. I meant they made me come stay with THEM, not HIM. Dirka.
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You are so wrong for this, My ex kept our daughter away from me. Well 18 years later, she still wanted to know me. Well now after she learned the truth about me, has a lot of resentment towards her mother because of it. Think long and hard unless the father is going to do physical harm to the child, the child deserves to know the father.
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I've kept the same secret from my daughter for over 15 yrs. Hasn't hurt her yet.
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Well you have about 3 more years until she starts to resent you for keeping that secret if she hasn't started already.
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re: 15 year secret.......it MAY have not hurt her yet, you dont know that for a fact!! Dont you think perhaps when she is riding on a bus alone maybe looks at different older men...." I wonder if thats him"....or in a library or wherever.Lets assume your father stole you at birth from your mom, moved across country, changed names etc....you wouldnt wonder about MOM? think about it
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OP, how old are you? I think this is a very valid inquiry here. Do you, your child, and the father a favor. Let them bond. It does not mean he has to have the child in his care unsupervised but a child needs to bond with both parents from birth regardless. I think you have resentment for his behaviors and are trying to punish him for them. Unfortunately, when your child is old enough to ask about "daddy" you will have to swallow that pill and answer. The sad part, in 6-7 years, you may not feel such the resentment as you do now for him...I am a single 24 year old mother and believe me, I resent my ex-husband for a lot he did to me and infront of OUR child, but that is still her dad and they deserve the chance to form a relationship...when/if she decides she wants a limited relationship with him, she can do so...
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From knowing people who truly wish they'd never known their fathers, do what feels right and be honest later on. Don't take away angelface's choices when she's old enough to make them. =)
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Another cunt bucket who doesn't deserve to reproduce. Thinking children are their property. You slept with him yet don't want him to see his kid.
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I was raised without my father. I always wanted to meet him, sat by the phone birthdays and holidays thinking this would be the year he would want to see me. I got to meet him at 16, and wish I had been told he was dead. He was always accused of trying to kill me or sell me as a baby. He is a criminal. He has hurt me in so many ways in just a few years, I am glad I was never subjected to him growing up, but I always held onto the hope that he wanted me and loved me. It sucks! Again, I wish I was told he was dead so I wouldn't have all that hope dashed completely. He is a worthless excuse for a human being. We all know men rarely change. I wouldn't put too much hope in yours, by the time you have to say something, you should know for sure. Good luck, though you may just want to wait to have a family with the next man. Any connection to this one at all could cause life-long strife.
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So, whose last name is the kid going to have?
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Dumb cunt. kill youreself.
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Fuckin slut with no brains
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My son is now 25 and never knew his bio-father. And for a good reason, his father was/is a drug addict and thief. I was young at the time and didn't know anybetter. Trust me, you can still raise a productive, loving and caring human being.
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Thanks to anybody with sensible thoughts on the subject, it's greatly appreciated! I just want what's best for my daughter, and as of right now, his habits and his environment just isn't something I'd want her to be around. I'd consider the possibility of supervisional visits, though. Oh, and I'm 22. :-) - The OP
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Daughters who grow up without fathers often are sexually promiscuious (or however you spell it) and sleep with older men searching for a father figure. All the mothering can't fill the void left by an absent father. You should give him a chance and make sure she knows who he is even if he is never a traditional father.
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^Better to look for a father figure all your life than be raped or killed by your real one! Everyone should just have abortions, it really causes less pain. See now, I have had 32 years of bs for what? It's a crime to kill yourself, and I believe in purgatory, so what now. Thanks mom. I wish I could go back in time and lend you the money. Selfish whore!
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We need our Dads! We don't care what kind of person YOU think he is or was. We need to know about him (the good and the bad) and we need to make our own thoughts and feelings (even if they hurt). You aren't protecting you're child, you're lying. It's hard having a troubled missing Dad and a lying mother.
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