my uncle had the same thing happen to him (other than he really did do it) and he had the same problem when he got out....just be honest with people. if they are really that judgmental you wouldn't want to date them anyhow!
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I would guess the nature of the crime has a lot to do with people's reactions as well. Good luck finding happiness.
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You never really finish paying your dues...
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stay free my friend. have you heard of recidivism? prison begets more prison, even for the innocent. hold your job, find that girl.
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Why even tell people? Its not like they can find out without you telling them..so like, you can only really f*** yourself over in this situation, its not lying its ommiting.
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^Do not listen to this! People can find out pretty much anything about you, especially when it's public record. Don't lie...when you're caught in it, it just breeds dis-trust. Be open and honest and you'll find the people that care more about you than they do your past!
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^Now that is excellent advice!
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Do you have fond memories of the showers?
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^You're such a prev...go masturbate or something!
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we know you didnt do it,,,,,,,,,,yep,,,,,,,,,,perhaps its just guilty conscience???
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Why don't you just meet people and be yourself. If they like you then great continue on once Love has been established then secrets come out and how ever strong your love is it can survive.
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Look for people that came from where you came from. I did 7 years in prison and it was hard when I got out.I met my husband who also has been to prison..we both helped each other turn our lives around.Now were happily married with kids good jobs etc. You just have to find someone who understands and has been through it.
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Hi, i am the original poster, thanks for all the surprisingly supportive comments, well except for the shower guy, but it's the classic prison joke i know. um well the woman will find out.See i had been going through a very bitter custody battle with my ex-wife. she had been on welfare for like 7 years at this point, she was getting it all, housing, food stamps, medical, everything, and I was in a good place in life. Good job, engaged to my live in g/f and her son, great place to live. then it came, an accusation from her I had abused my youngest son in the worse way. Well ev1 who knew me knew better, and said get a lawyer. But me, I was like what for I didn't do shit. Well me knowing everything did it my way. Well my way got me a conviction, i spent just over 5 years incarcerated, and a life time registry.now today I see my kids at will, they are a bit older not to narrow it down too much, but they are between 5-16, they have even spent the night. truth is they want to live with me, but with my one bedroom i can't and i'm lucky i have this most people refused to rent to me.so ladies how would a guy tell you about this?I have a feeling the comments will change...we'll see. but thanks to all.
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It takes evidence to convict. Usually, hearsay bullshit from a woman. They NEVER lie under oath. (Bitches!)
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Good luck to you.
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Evidence, ha ha ha, see too much cop show like CSI have diluted peoples view of the legal system.the guy said he has to register, therefore it was a sex abuse allegation. With minors in most states kids under 14 can't testify, do the math he said his kids now are between 5-16, he did 5 years, so his kids would have been no older than 11 at the time well actually 12, because he said in his original post he has been out a year. this is why innocent people get convicted, people don't pay attention. and assume people don't lie under oath. If that's so true why is it people get tried for perjury all the time. Again too may cop showsLaw
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^^^^the right woman is out there, you just have to be patient. obviously if your kids want to come see you you were falsely convicted which happens all the time.....it will make it harder, but that just means you have to work at it!
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^Get a life...
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I like watching "To Catch a Predator (with Chris Hansen)" Dumb f***s everywhere trying to score with jail bait. Sick bastards. I wonder how many of them piss their pants when Chris comes walking out with the camera guys? Ever notice how many of them are in the military? We need protection from our own damned troops. That's sad.
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^Too True!
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well thanks to all for the positive comments. I am actually shocked at how many of them there are . wish i knew more people like you, even online.Oh and to the Catch a predator guy....trust me there are far worse people... I met them, even the worse you imagine they did worse.anyways...thanks to all the positive people.
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I went to prison for a DWI, minimum security, when I was a dumbassed 20-something. Most of the guys in there were there for nonpayment of child support. I thought, "OK, they are in here, how in the f*** are they going to pay child support?!?" Most of them looked at it as a vacation. LOL! This one dude there worked his way down to minimum; he had a life sentence. He stuck his girlfriend's baby in the refrigerator freezer because it wouldn't quit crying while being high on drugs. He fell asleep on the couch. She came home from work, asked him where the baby was, and found her kid frozen to death in the fridge.. If I could've killed him and got away with it, I would have.
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^that just happened here only the crackhead shoved the baby between the mattress and the box spring and it suffocated....im sure the 15 year old mom was just devastated :/
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^^ I hear you, original poster here. I was kinda an outcast in prison. Because I was white(made me the minority) and I wasn't gang related, and the majority were career criminals. I was in Illinois system, so I did time in every level, except super max. But yeah I met guys that did things and admitted to, that deep down bothered to. But I used my time to change me, not them.........
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Continuedalso during my whole ordeal...I lost everything, everything i ever worked for, my freedom, my reputation, and I also lost my mother she passed away while i was in prison, and i wasn't able to attend her funeral and say good bye. and...I lost all that time from my kids, so imagine losing 5 years away from your kids.
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^ I feel for you, dude. I lost my car, my job, my life. Some punk assed cop's kid probably ended up with my sweet ride at the "auction". The goddamned state trooper's boss on the scene told him to charge me with whatever he had to, to get my car. While I was handcuffed in the back seat within earshot of the conversation. Fucking PIGS!
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Well all I can say is why do you need a relationship right now. Sex is not a relationship and to have sex with someone you don't have to tell all. But if your looking for a relationship why not work on the ones with your kids build it strong so that noone can ever break it. A woman who is right for you will come when it's time, not when you want. Have faith.
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Well this isn't about sex. it's about being with someone, sharing life. I been single for almost 7 years now. So, yeah I am ready, just need to get past this.My kids and I are good, we have a good relationship. Funny thing is they respect me more than their mom, now why do you think that is? ha ha ha jobs are a different story
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JOBS...well i know it's tough all the way around. i have a job sorta hours are always slim i work for a independent guy and he has no clue of my conviction.see in Illinois it use to be on job apps about 7 years for a conviction now its ask in last 10 years many jobs i was qualified for until my conviction comes up, then it's no.
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I have to say that if I was dating you and I had young children, and I found out about this from some other way than you I would probably be skeptical to let you alone with my kids. But if you told me about it yourself, that might be different. I was pretty over-protective with my kids though.
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^ I understand that, I guess I am just self-conscious about the whole thing. Like I'm being judged all the time. Even by people who don't know anything. Like I have a big fn sign above my head.I guess I also need to figure out how to not only approach the subject but also how I will tell a woman.Again, the comments weren't as bad as I thought they would be.Thx to all
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^I think every state should have a 7 year law on past convictions when it comes to jobs, depending on what the job entails. I haven't even had a speeding ticket in over 10 years, no felonies ever; but, I still have to put down stupid shit I did as a teenager on job applications where I live. Or, face a firing if I lied on my application. Then I'd get no unemployment benefits for lying on the app. Damn, remember the days when they didn't even drug test anyone?
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^what state are you in?Original poster hereActually I feel that it shouldn't be on applications. I feel that you shouldn't have to reveal any convictions until a job is offered.Because if a person is best for the job they are best for the job. Of course even I feel exceptions need to be made like if it involves kids or the elderly.
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^ I hear you, dude. Send in a resumé, THEN get a chance to explain your past if you get an interview. I know too many people who did the same things I did (and worse) when I was younger, who by f***ing chance, or the luck of the draw, never got caught.
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^^What about embezzling or fraud?
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Why are you worried about dating? It's not like men tell the truth anyway. It's not like you are looking for anything other than a quick screw or twenty.
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Why the hell would you look for a woman with kids to date? Just go screw.
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I got accused of this same stuff with my daughter by her grandfather (on her mothers side). Thank the good LORD nothing stuck! But it was very embarrassing and I had interviews and had to stay away for a few months. She's eight now, the aqusations were when she was 3. What an azz hole! Good Luck dude!!
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I know what you mean,dating isn't the same outside of prison.
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God these a** **** comments "har har, prison seks is funnay" piss me off so much. So do the holier than thou "you deserve all you get" kind... The way you treat ex-cons is the way you treat everyone else in your life, you just don't have to hide it behind a polite veneer. Fuck you!
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