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My husband cheated on me and even though I tell him that I got over it, I haven't. My heart is broken and it's been a year since it happened. Will I ever heal?

My husband cheated on me and even though I tell him that I got over it, I haven't. My heart is broken and it's been a year since it happened. Will I ever heal?

 
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Category: Secrets

 
yes you will heal and you will forgive him but you will never forget about it or trust him again
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why are you lying to your husband about how you feel? dishonesty breeds dishonesty.....
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Its only been a year, its still fresh. Give yourself more time, you may heal....but I agree with the poster above, you will probably never trust him ever again.
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trust does come with time. Its been two years. It does get easier....slowly. I suggest going to see a couples therapist.
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it takes time to heal and to be able to trust him again. it's been over two years for me; i've healed from it. before hand i didn't trust him at all, but now i trust him. He has proven to me that he won't do it again and he hasn't.
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Speaking from experience here...you never forget..Move on now don't waste any more time with him. There ARE men out there that don't cheat
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from the other woman, i am sure he loves you, my lover loves his wife, he tells me he will never change. i am just some outlet for him, i know i am wrong but i just need a friend. i think you should learn to trust again and not worry about it so much, go out with your friends have fun but don't think so much. i really love my lover but know the truth. i hope it works for you, i bet the men that don't cheat are ugly and toothless anyhow.
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^you have REALLY low self esteem!
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Nope you will Never get over it and never forget! You should Never forget!!
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Thanks everyone (this is the OP).. and thanks even to the "other woman"... all perspectives help. I just don't get why I can't get over it. It's like they both have all the pieces to the puzzle.. and I'm trying to put the puzzle together with only a handful of pieces. meh..you know what I mean. But thanks to all who replied. It helped me a lot.
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ps- the reason I lied and told him I was over it is because he really is sorry and kicking himself in the ass for it. I believe he knows it was wrong.. and I have guilt for my inability to forgive him. :/
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once a cheat . . . always a cheat.
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You will get over it in time . I am sorry that you have to go through it . I have walked in your shoes and it took all the strength within me to move past it.Then years later I became the other woman in someone elses life . I regret it a whole lot. I knew he loved his wife and I am sure she loved him too . I was just lonely and I guess you could say stupid . My biggest regret is I hurt his wife.I don't have any way of knowing but I am hoping that she forgave him and that they are happy now.
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Hang around for part 2 = here we go again !
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Thank you... and to the person who said "part 2".. what the hell are you talking about?
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Nothing a little Alabama Black Snake won't cure. It's good for what ales ya, or maybe start drinking stout.
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be sure to bring that shit up during every disagreement. that will help alot
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Does he want you to wear French maid outfits now, for some unknown reason?
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ignore the trolls on here op! i still think you should tell him how you really feel though!
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you will never trust again. every time he is out and your not sure where, every time he says he works late. He is nowhere as tore up over as he claims or it never would have happened in the first place. every conversation he had with her he knew, every piece of clothing he took off he could of stopped, when he kissed her-- he wasnt regretting it, when he made love to her, he wasnt regretting it. He will probably do it again. And you will always, and I do mean always wonder. If you can live with that thought than stay, but I would recomment get out for your own piece of mind.
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there are 300,000,000 (three hundred million) people in the USA. Find a new one and move on or you will always have a lump in your throat.
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If you forgive him and he straightens up and never does it again you can get over it. Everyone deserves a second chance. Also know that because of his bad actions there are reactions in life and things will not go his way, his car might breakdown, he could lose his job and have major health issues.. All these things can come smacking back around at him for breaking his vows. What goes around comes around. So do the right thing and hopefully his crap won't drag you down with him.
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^ I thought all that shit was just coincidence.... Hmmmmmm....
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a second chance for cheating--- yeah--- what about all those chances he had to change his mind. He had plenty of chances to stop and leave. I find it amazing that a cheater is never sorry for the deed while it is happening, usually not sorry until he get caught. Divorce him , take everything and get a new life.
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^i am a woman but you are nutz, cold hearted, scorn woman! it's all stupid. when will people realize we are not personal property of others, there is more to love than sex!
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^ thats right you better be able to cook and clean and get me a cold beer wheni want it
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^and you better be able to keep it up all night and give a good woman who cooks, cleans, and fetches your beer the lovin she deserves!
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i believe love is, letting someone be themselves and trust they are not hurting you but are there when you need them the most...
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2^ that up all night is big talk. after 15 min, you are too sore to go on. you just want the man to pop so you can go to sleep
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^your right about personal property of others, I guess some of us arent door mats either. there is more to love than sex but sex is what usually destroys the love because sex is spread around so easy. Just wait your turn-- if it aint happended to you than your lucky and gullable
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This is the op again.. thanks for the kind words from those of you who have given them. The trolls on here.. you're being ignored.. after I giggle at your posts. Anyway... yes, I do love him. I want to trust him. I do not bring it up in any arguments.. even when I feel like I'd want to. I don't. It's just that my heart is still broken. Trust, forgiveness and getting over it are three different things.. I do trust him. I don't go around checking on him. I don't need to. It's just the heartache that seems to linger. :( Thank you everyone for helping with your words. I appreciate it...very much. I'm glad I found this site. It's easier than talking to family and friends about this. They are of course biased and well, you know how that goes. :)
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^if you two truly love one another then you will overcome this!
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I don't envy you, but I admire how honest and respectful you seem. Best of luck!
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My wife cheated on me a year and a half ago. I still don't fully trust her. Not sure if I ever will.
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I thought I was the only one who giggled on here. Still waiting on a comment funny enough to make me spit beer all over my computer screen though.
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Cheating = one hard curbcheck.
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REMEMBER CHANCES ARE WITH THE OTHER PERSON IT WAS PROBABLY JUST SEXUAL . YES, YOU MAY MAKE LOVE TO HIM ANYTIME HE WANTS IT BUT MAYBE HE NEEDED TO BE F**KED TILL HIS TEETH RATTLED AND THE OTHER WOMAN PLAYED HIS SLUT. HANG IN THERE.
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did she have bigger boobs? That's the important question i need the answer to.
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^Why do you need that question answered? Why not use your time productively and go play with your mate's boobs:)
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LOL I made his teeth rattle when I first found out about it.. believe me. But yes, I see what you're saying. I think everyone wants a good f*ck every now and then I guess. And no.. he does not have bigger boobs.. her brain vs my brain is about the same ratio too. ;)Thanks.. again.. I love this free therapy. You guys/girls are the best. :)
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*she doesn't have bigger boobs than I do... he doesn't either, for that matter.. but whoah what a typo. Sorry about that. LOL
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Its been a year since i found out my fiance has been cheating on me with the same girl for the last 4 out of 5 years we have been together we had a child and looking back i feel thats was the only reason i stayed, for our son. but now im glad i did i still think about it everyday but im moving on slowly and at my own pace. he hasnt cheated on me since.
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^ thank you... I don't know how you put up with it for so long! :( I'm sorry.
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You won't get over it, or forget, but your heart will heal.
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