I agree, never stay for the kids. It just doesnt work, they will be miserable knowing you are. And they dont want you to stay together on their behalf. If you stay, stay because you made a commitment to her and WANT to make it work. And make it work, get counseling, find a way to fall in love again.
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Never stay for the kids. They are resilient. They get over it. They eventually love having two birthdays, two Christmases, two PlayStations etc.. trust me. I was there. My kids are great now.
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That is the reason a lot of unhappy couples stay together me included to give the kids both parents . But when the parents are unhappy the kids sense that and they cannot be happy either . I didn't realize that till my kids got almost grown then they told me I should have left their father a long time ago. I am 22 years into my marriage now . I feel like I gave up happiness and also took the happiness from my kids as well .
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Don't be miserable for the sake of your son. In time, both you and your wife will move forward and be happier people if that is what you each desire for yourselves...and yes, I agree that your son will be happier, too. Even though you wouldn't be living with him anymore doesn't mean you can't be a part of his life. You have a choice to be a huge part of his life, especially if you can keep a civil relationship with your wife. Talk to her, she might be a very understanding person, and could even be going through the same feelings you are. Communication is a great thing!
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Just how does anyone imagine that subtracting happiness from a situation can make more happiness? This kind of thinking being the norm, it's no surprise there are so many unhappy people in the land of plenty.
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^they wouldn't be subtracting happiness. Thats the point. He is miserable around his wife. I'm sure his kid is picking up on that and probably thinking that its their fault their father isn't happy.
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DO NOT leave your son. Find a way to be with him without her.
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I'm a husband and father of two boys. I'm in the same boat as you. We need some kind of support group. I have never been as unhappy as I am right now, but I can't leave because I want to be with my sons more than every other weekend. I will forgo not having sex and forgo having a loving relationship because my young boys are worth it.
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Ditto the above comment. Im right there with you buddy.
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Me too. The 2 guys above aren't alone. Evidently neither am I. Thought I was.
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What is a man supposed to do when his wife is f***ing annoying?I can't stand my wife anymore I like to do what I like and not what she wants so she throws temper tantrums and says I'm miserable..well maybe it's time to move with life
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Stay for your son. If you leave she will make you the bad guy! You don't have to love your wife, you have to love your son. It will be hard to love your son when you do not live with him.
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I'm stuck in the mud with you guys
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I'm there as well. 8 years in...I am trapped and stay only for the child. I hate my life..can't leave. I sacrifice my happiness for my daughter so she will have a father. Fucking women. Ruin men's lives and know we won't leave. It's bullshit
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You are not alone. Four kids at home, 21 year marriage and a wife with mental problems. She's never worked outside the house. My fault for putting up with it all these years. Only way out would be to give her half the assets and lose the kids. There are no easy choices for guys like us, only choosing one kind of pain over another.
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She cheated on me and I'm in the same boat.I divorced her in my heart but can't stand the thought of not being with my little girl every day. Not sure how the courts think a cheating wife is a good mother... it destroyed a happy household environment.
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I have a wife that demands she is equal. I'm great with that, but the problem is i am struggling to find where she contributes. I am the breadwinner, by an 80/20 breakdown. I clean the house, I do my own laundry, I do over 50% of the children's laundry, if she cooks, I clean. I put the children to bed 75% of the time. There is zero intimacy unless she wants/needs it. i love them the children so much and have zero feelings for her
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