When my wife leaves the house I jerk off to any porn with redheads. My wife is a brunette.

I act like I care,even flew 500 miles to support my sister during her divorce, but w/the exception of my wife & kids I could care less if my entire family died.

I hated my abusive mother so much that when she died and I got her ashes I smashed and scattered her remains at a garbage depot.

I hate her more now.

Sometimes I draw on the wall with a crayon and then I blame the baby.

I only date unattractive and/or chubby women, because they are better in bed and are low maintenance.