Your my hero, my bestfriend, & who I will loose my viriginity too this weekend. I hope it means something to both us. btw I love you.

I am gonna divorce my husband because he kisses his ex-wifes butt!!

my husband doesnt last longer than 4 or 5 minutes having sex and he cant do it rough or it's over faster. im tired of it!

I use my boyfriend's toothbrush as a sex toy. He has no idea, it's the best vibrator ever.

I work at an ice cream shop, and every time a fat person comes in to order some, I judge them. You don't need two scoops!