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After literally thousands of hours of study and research and prayer, I've realized the truth: there is no God. And I'm an ordained pastor. My life is a sham.
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I don't drive. I have my reasons. But I am embarrassed by it when people look at me weird when I tell them I don't drive. I don't bother people for rides.
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Sometimes I fantasize about beating you with a shovel.
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You flew away when I deserved to be alone in my cage. I wish everyday you would come back and let my fly away with you.
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For my 18'th birthday I decided to get drunk and swallow 1/2 bottle of sleeping pills. I truly wanted to end the misery. I woke up 2 days later, nobody noticed.
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