My Untold Secrets best page number Page 1677

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People at work think I drink smoothies to be healthy. I drink them because they hide the smell of rum on my breath.

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I wear the same jeans, everyday. No one seems to notice. Putting them in the dryer takes away the smell.

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When my wife does something to upset me, I tighten the lids to everything in the house so she can't open them.

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Anytime someone tells me they are religion,most of my family, I automatically think they aren't very intelligent.

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I have a good memory but pretend not to so people don't think I'm a stalker

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