I can't stop holding petty grudges.

I dont trust ANYONE and never tell them my real life plans. I'm afraid they will wish for the worst & jinx me. I always have a fake cover story. Im very lonely.

I have all these people around me who love and support me, one person wants to marry me. Why do I feel so alone?

Tomorrow I am checking into a treatment center for eating disorders. Im addicted to binge/purge. Today is and eating marathon. I'm happy/sad its my last meal.

My Grandpa passed 45yrs ago days before I was born. my Grandma never remarried and loved only him till she passed 5 days ago at 102yrs young.I love you grandma.