I hated my abusive mother so much that when she died and I got her ashes I smashed and scattered her remains at a garbage depot.

I hate her more now.

Sometimes I like to stand in the shower with my clothes on and pretend I’m in a submarine that’s been hit.

My wife has no idea that I was planning on firing a bullet into my head the night she called me for our first date eight years ago. Thank you darling.

I fantasize women wanting me because I have a huge dick. But I'm just fat with a 5 inch dick.

I act like I care,even flew 500 miles to support my sister during her divorce, but w/the exception of my wife & kids I could care less if my entire family died.