I'm at 38th year, I've traveled hundreds of thousands of miles. Held 25 plus jobs, owned 15 plus cars. What have I mastered? Everything, and nothing.

I once went home from a bar with a girl who had a kitten that she kicked twice, right in front of me. After we were done, I took the kitten while she slept.

I got this tat and my father is really mad at me. He doesn't seem to understand that it is my body.

I secretely admire George Bush. Everyone hates him but me.

You were always with me during my illness growing up. You're the best friend I ever had. After 3 years, I'd still give away everything for one more day with you