I honestly think all of my problems would go away if I wasn't fat. I was 248 and now I'm 214, so I'm proud of how far I've gotten.

I know your cheating so I put exlax in those brownies I made you hope you had a good day at work...

My sister used to tickle me until I wet my pants. She died nine years ago and I miss her every day.

I have a very respectable job, My coworkers think I am sooooo straight-laced.

They have no idea that 15 years ago, I was a strung out junkie, living in a van

Even tho' you are nothing of what I expected and we don't always see eye to eye, I could never love you any less. You saved me and for that I owe you.