My cat "Lil' Payne" has a conspiracy theory problem. He thinks the government is after him and that our trailer is bugged by the FBI and CIA. What should I do?

I honestly feel like I dont belong here. People are so wrong! Im a sexual being but I dont sleep with everyone I meet. What the hell happened to society?

I would like to go around to all the prisons in the USA & become the first serial killer for shooting imprisoned serial killers!

Sometimes I envy those who have already lived their lives and have passed on.

I like to sit down on & take long a relaxing shit in this toilet!