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Places for help: 
If you cant go on:  
http://suicidehotlines.com/
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        I should've come to visit you in the hospital or at least nursing home one last time before you left granny. I will be forever sorry I didn't. I miss you. | 
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        Make yourself feel better by going to her grave. Don't beat yourself up. All of us are full of woulda, shoulda couldas
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