Stop doing that! We train our minds to see and believe what we live. Think happy thoughts. 
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  sincere delusion...its called. you need too talk too a doctor about this. after a while you will lose the sense of reality...and things will get worse.
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  If your only choice is dying or life in jail (which it rarely is if you're well armed :D) then go death.  A life in jail is little better than torture.  
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  I was faced with life or death in prison for many years....I was and still am innocent...each day holds it's rare moments....You will become your thoughts
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  I used to feel I would someday be in jail, eventhoughI wasn't breaking the law.   Then one day I got arrested for  drugs, got put in jail.....so stop thinking it...
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  Your just boried with your life, get a motor bike and go ride. Then you wont have to think about life or death situations, you will be living what you think about.
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  I do that same thing. After reading the comments above, I'm scared.
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