Page 60Best of All (Newest First)
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I like to call restaurants posing as a health inspector and tell them that they are due for a health inspection at the same time I plan on eating there.
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I tell people i dont want to get married or have kids, because i dont think i will ever find someone who wants to marry or have kids with me
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Somedays I wish I would've never married you. I blame your parents for everything you did to me, they never taught you morals. I want to beat morals into them.
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My wife thinks I quit smoking two years ago but I still smoke at work everyday. I brush my teeth and gargle Listerine before I go home. Weekends are murder.
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When my wife leaves the house I jerk off to any porn with redheads. My wife is a brunette.
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