My wife thinks I don`t know she has feelings for her old girlfriend

I'm 52, tired, and really just don't give a f*** anymore.

My ex put a shotgun to my head and pulled the trigger. It misfired because I took a pin from it when he threatened before. But I still pissed myself.

I don't understand how you moved on and I'm still stuck in this hole.

There's no way i could have let you walk out of my life... i'm way more than in love with you...