Once I realized my wife married me for the family money I made sure that she would get almost none of it if I die first.

my nipples get ultra hard when i go pee - i guess it's not really a secret when everyone can see them cutting thru my shirt when i come out of the bathroom.

You molested me at 3 yrs old and continiued for 3 more years. You were my father's best friend. I enjoyed seeing you die in the hospital.

When I was a little boy (started when I was 5) I would put batteries in my butt. The older I got, the bigger the battery.