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I am extremely jealous of pregnant women. I wish it were me.
Rating:   48 Ups   12 Downs  
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I was so in love with you the day I married her. You asked me not to do it and marry you instead. I secretly wished it was you when I said I do.
Rating:   17 Ups   37 Downs  
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When I was 19 I was sentenced to Dammasch State Mental Hospital in Oregon. I tell friends lies. It was really the birth of full-fledged psychotic sociopathy.
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I'm 35 years old and I'm pretty sure I have bowel cancer. I haven't told anyone because all I want to do is walk into the woods and never return. Solitude.
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I was only born because my mother flunked out of school and had to cock-trap her physics professor into providing for her. She tried to kill me multiple times.
Rating:   41 Ups   20 Downs  
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