My girlfriend broke up with me when she realised she was gay. I'm still friends with her and her life partner. It sucks though

I don't have the heart to tell my mom she bought an ugly shirt a while back. She loves it. :(

I am harder on one of my step daughters than I am my other kids. Sometimes I wish her mom would pull her head out of her ass so she could go live with her.

I'm sorry, but I borrowed your toothbrush. I figured it was better than having bad breath.

Once they had two or three, how did they ever find enough time alone to make more?