I haven't done a thing in a month. I wish my boss would figure it out already and save me the stress!

I'm a workaholic because if I go home, I might become an acoholic

I wish your kids were mine. I feel for them everytime the police pull up.

I voted for the Iraq war but can't admit I want to take it back.

everyone thinks im a nice guy but im not. I do really really bad things. There is a monster living in my head.