If you're facebook pics are close ups or of your kids, I assume your ugly and fat.

My wife doesn't like eating at new places. I buy gift cards for those places and tell her they were gifts from work.

You've been in my life for 10 years. We've never been able to meet in person. I can't help but feel like in 4 months I'll be meeting my prince charming

I left you,You didn't care.Let me say, I am the happiest I have ever been without you.Every day the alcohol brings you closer to death.Glad I don't have to see

Sometimes I have beer and ice cream for breakfast to remind myself I'm an adult and can do whatever I want.