As sure as flies were once maggots, politicians were once lawyers.

I once thought love was a simple and easy thing, I've since discovered it's quite the opposite. lucky me...

I'm done with therapy and trying to do better and be healthy. It's time for me to start treating people like the pieces of shit they are and have some fun.

I really want to have sex with a hot amputee woman.

I finally divorced my wife because she gained 200 lbs after having our son. She refused to lose the weight and I didn't want to have sex with her anymore.